I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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