Small penises have feelings too.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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