And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
