already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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