The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
