I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
