Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize