My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
