Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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