How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
