I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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