I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
