he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize