Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
