we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
