My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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