One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
