i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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