New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
