Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
