yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize