the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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