I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
