He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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