She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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