So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
