do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
