My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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