On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am one with the molecules
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
