i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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