I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
