Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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