I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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