Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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