Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
