he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
