As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
