he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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