i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
