I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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