these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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