i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
