Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
