You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
