The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
