Yo dont text me then not text me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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