Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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