I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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