just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
