What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
