He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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