so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
