I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
