wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
