Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
