Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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