Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
